Patter-Pitter by Joan J. Bell
I know when she heard the pitter-patter
of tiny feet she didn't expect to
Hurt quite so much,
but then there was
hop-hip
music in her ears
And the
patter-pitter
of heavier steps
Then, the doorbell rings
dong-ding
Someone there to tell her
Her daughter is not perfectly pristine
And my mother,
she
is on
her knees screaming why
Why
are you doing this
to me?
and I,
Well.
I don't know what to tell her other
Than it hurts and I don't
Know why but I need that
pain to feel okay
And I can't expect her to understand
what it's like to never feel
noRMaL
but I do know that
I resent her resentment and
love her love and I'm confused by
How conditional
it sometimes seems.
If there's one thing I know absolutely it's that I know absolutely
nothing
And even the
tap-tip
of my tears on the page sound backwards and confused
Just the same as always.