Thanksgiving by Rose Moczygemba

Sometimes the obvious solutions are the hardest to see, and before you know it, you’ve been working on this stupid paper 

(except that it’s not stupid, not really, it’s rather interesting and the professor is a good guy so you don’t really mind) 

for four days without writing down a single sentence and then - 

eureka! 

An idea!

A painfully obvious idea that isn’t even anything new because you’ve done it before for a class that wasn’t that different from this one.

God, but the senioritis is kicking in too hard. 

Or is it the seasonal depression? 

Except that you’ve never had seasonal depression before, just regular depression, and 

never 

as bad as this.

Oh - wait - you remember now 

(you never really forgot, just let it drift to the back of your mind for awhile) - 

it’s because Thanksgiving is nearing.

Thanksgiving is nearing and

you have so much to give thanks for

except for him

he’s gone

has been gone

and you’ve been fine with it for the most part,

but lately it’s haunting you again.

He’s haunting your dreams the way he hasn’t in a few months now -

he’s coming back, he wants you again, he loves you again, he -

(you wake up and it’s not true).

You’re in my head you’re in my head

“It takes time,” they tell you

over and over, as if you don’t already know,

haven’t heard that phrase a hundred times in the past ten months

(ten months? Has it been that long?)

And most of the time you’re okay -

Not good but okay.

The knowledge that eventually you’ll be good again is (usually) enough.

Right now though, well

the world is standing still, and

Thanksgiving is coming

and you aren’t feeling particularly thankful about anything